8.10.2011 John is exhausted. He has been losing sleep. His best explanations for Earth-like images and fictitious reporters hang between self delusion and alien intelligence. The problem is a thorn in his side. Who will help him remove it? In crisis he considers spiritual teachings but the scientist in him distrusts religion. So he chooses a literary work, Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, and buys the audio book online. He lies in bed with headphones listening to spoken words describe the journey.

That night he dreams of a baby with Buddha nature nestled in a tree awaiting the birth that will come at dawn. John wakes up remembering Hesse's description of the young Brahmin leaving home. He finds himself sobbing for what Siddhartha gives up in his search for knowing; seeing himself drawn to this path. In the middle of deep heaves, he lets go of his hopes for a normal life. He hits bottom. He reaches the end of the spiral of uncertainty; questioning who he is and what his mind is capable of. At his moment of greatest vulnerability, John opens to the infinite, vacates his will and asks for relief. Suddenly able to see himself from outside and within simultaneously, John overflows with warmth and comfort.

And it is not hard to guess the origin of those feelings of warmth and comfort. In comes Fred, full speed ahead.
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