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"One who seeks delight in the eye seeks delight in suffering."
The Buddah said this? No wonder making art is such a struggle.
|Not separate from the tree.|
poems liberating words
ricochet past infinity
|In the midst of it...|
I got an email today from my
great-aunt in Houston
who pointed out to me that
my recent drawings did not seem
as happy as they used to be.
It was a really terrific note and I answered her right away.
After re-reading my response to her I thought that I owed the same reasoning to those on the email list who might have similar feelings. I don't think she'll mind me sharing that particular part of my email reply.
Dear Aunt M---,
I tried to write online about this shift you've noticed but my writing can be cryptic, I know. Recently I realized that I use the term 'creativity' synonymously with 'art'; or at least use it to refer to 'making things'. But I see now that the term 'creativity' is much broader - the connotations seem deeper - and I have been trying to adjust my view to accommodate the idea that not only 'making', but 'taking apart', is creative. It was not intuitive for me but I can appreciate now that destruction and construction are equally creative. For example, if a building is torn down, a vacant lot is 'created'.
So being open to this has brought in some darkness but at no cost to my personal happiness - thank you for your concern. I am happy. At least as happy as before and probably more so because there is so much new territory to explore. And what has really shifted is that while being just as happy, I have a broader sense of contentment that understanding can bring. I can allow the negative space to have a voice and I can still remain an observer, not caught up in it, knowing all changes are creative.
All my love,
|Remaining in stillness, resting in place, right in the present moment, even while thoughts come and go.|
A question that has always baffled me is,
"how do so many different energies
give rise to anything at all?"
--and recently it has been suggested to me
that these things that arise,
for example: universes, love, children, and iPads;
are only as separate as waves are separate from an ocean.
|...as separate as waves are separate from an ocean.|
What is creative
about this anxiety?
A useful challenge
to see the repetition
and factor it out.
Aware of itself
Nothing simple about transmitting.
Sources of distortion include:
and physical limitations.
I persist because I know that
resonance spans barriers.
Returning to the line in drawing
returning to my breath in meditation.
When I was an art student I was assigned to draw from life; to look closely and render the world outside. I always found this kind of rendering tedious and could never find an engaging thing to draw until one day in art history class, while studying the etchings of Rembrandt, I realized he saw a deeper subject. He was rendering the light itself, specifically the way light reveals, by gradient and by shadow, whatever it touches.
Many years later I still draw from life but I turn around and look at the world that is inside, and I realize that my subject is not my thoughts, ideas, or imagination but the light of consciousness that reveals them.
All the birds and creatures of the
world are unutterably themselves.
-- David Whyte
from "Everything is Waiting for You"
I was trying to wake up in my dreams
until one day a dreamer woke up in me.
Breaths like children
Allow for them
They rise on their own
Give them attention as they grow
Release them as they go away
Wait patiently for their return
|Searching for the story.|
|Many opportunities to practice on a long ride home.|
|...when the gentle breeze returns...|