1.5.2021
These two are quite a pairing. Not W and his teacher but W and himself. Resonating with a human mind, being in contact with a wide variety of sensory input from a material world, pushed and pulled by preference, overwhelmed by attitudes, opinions, and emotion, hung up by conjecture, and drinking in the joys of ego, W is so distracted, so entertained, and so busy fulfilling desire that he believes he is his body: my hand, my heart, my thoughts, this is me, and he further believes that objects around him also belong to him: my cup, my comb, my mat, my room, my river.

W wanting to be the best student, to impress his teachers, to get a better room, stays in the meditation hall longer than anyone, volunteers to clean after every meal, and teaches the other students how to improve. He spends his time on the cushion planning. He knows he can win over the teachers but he mistakenly assumes he needn't worry about conquering himself, never bothering to ask, "who is doing all this scheming?" His expectations are high for his teacher meeting but his efforts aren't recognized. He masks his frustration. Ambition turns to guilt, then quickly depression.

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