6.17.2014 Somehow I always return here, to this center spot, to me. They tell me that each cell in my body has been replaced many times since I was born but something has been the same for 51 years.

If vortices of mind form in matter's flow, life provides the sensory feedback.

The earliest thing I remember is waking up, It is extraordinary to me that the sensation of waking up is where I began; a feeling so familiar, so regular, so everyday, just waking up from sleep, just that easy, from nothing arises the sense of being awake. I must have been roused from sleep hundreds of times since birth but on that morning, as a two year old, I really woke up: total depth of black and quiet, a void, mental stirring, mind sensing body, a lift, recognition, hey, here I am, noticing a bright light, loud noise, and then...pancakes.

I remember the sensation very well and I have visited it so much that I'm sure it has been embellished - apparently memories change each time we remember them. I immediately understood I was awake. We were at some sort of large public pancake breakfast and years later I confirmed with my parents that we had indeed attended such an event when I was that age. I remember pancakes, big pancakes - doughy pancakes and someone pouring syrup and I remember the sweetness of the syrup and the spongy pancake as I chewed maybe one bite. It was a brief memory, definitely my first, and, in the awakening, one of my clearest connections to what persists.
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