The moment of death for that puppy under the wheel of the car was an awakening for me. I was too young to know what was happening and did not sense any danger. One moment I was excitedly kicking a ball with my sister, the next a car, a yelp, a lady crying, my mother rushing about, going away and coming home without the puppy. Of course I felt shock but in my three year old mind the emotions passed quickly. What didn't go away was my lifelong connection to the puppy through that memory.
In the instant the dog lost its life, I *knew* at a low level everything I could about what had occurred and what I keep asking myself is, "How was that reality transmitted?"
I never cried for that dog until today. Why has that helped? What was released? How can such strong emotion remain stored inside me for so long? What influence on my reasoning, intuition, and compassion has this undigested emotional experience had on my attitudes and decisions throughout my life?